WWoW: Clever lost 5 year old girl in California.

When I was 5 I had to take a bus to another school from the school I lived near.  The school I lived near had too many kindergarten children.  One day when they brought me home they brought me home to the wrong stop.    I was 5 years old and had no flipping clue where I was.  I asked some people how do I get to my street and they told me a direction.  I was scared but I started walking.  A strange car was following me which made me more nervous but I ignored them and kept walking.  I got to a gas station and a van with two strangers in it stopped and told me that they were friends of my parents and wanted to bring me to them.  I told them NO Thank you I dont know you.  They argued with me and kept insisting but I refused to get close enough to them.  No way in hell was I getting in the van of strangers thanks.    I figured out that I needed to get across a very busy and scary street.  I was taught that I could not go across the street without an adult holding my hand.  I did not know what to do because I also knew that I was not supposed to talk to strangers.  I paced there completely unsure what to do.  And a small miracle happened.  A little old lady came up to the corner.  I knew I could trust her so I asked if she would walk me across the street.  She did.  I was then in very familiar territory and walked home.  No one was there. So I sat on the steps and a little while later my parents came they were so glad I was safe.

I have often wondered why I am able to be so calm in crisis I think its because I learned it early.  I can be scared out of my mind but I am able to work through it.

TJM: Progress means processing

Recently I went away for two weeks on a vacation to see my boyfriend in Illinois.  Just in case your not aware we are in a long distance relationship which in time will be changing.

However, that is not what this entry is about.  When I was there I got to see snow again and with it brought alot of strange memories and feelings that I thought I had dealt with so long ago.  Things that I had not let go like I thought from my days living in Wisconsin.  Perhaps the peace I found within myself has opened up a chance in me to finally process through this stuff I never really let go into the wind.  I am too tired to give much detail but ever since I got home last Wednesday every night I have been plagued with dreams that are bazaar and tend to leave me completely annoyed when I awake.

The only conclusion I can come to is my brain is trying to process through all the feelings and memories I so carefully bound up and hid deep in the recesses of my brain.  This is what I am hoping anyway.  Because if I do not process these things and finally after that sweeping them up and sending them on their merry way I will not be able to progress in my journey to become a better person.

I have weathered storms like this one before but this time is much gentler and other than annoying dreams its a calmer process.  I like this more peaceful me.

Just cause I am more peaceful does not mean I don't get mad or stressed cause I do.  It just means I can find better alternatives on how to deal in theory.

I am Just ME!